Simply Grateful

FLY MY WINGED CHILD

Through the eyes of a Flying Fijian Mum

When I first started putting this last chapter together, we were days away from the Final Round of the Rugby World Cup 2019 and what a whirlwind of an experience it has been for me and millions of aspiring rugby fans and supporters. There is no doubt in my mind that the majority of these followers predicted a final match that would include the New Zealand All Blacks; I did, but unfortunately that was not to be the case. 

SA Springboks RWC 2019 Winners

The RWC 2019 finals was finally played between England and South Africa, with Africa eventually becoming the 2019 RWC champions.

It has been 7 weeks of gruelling combat on the rugby ovals of Japan where this experience has turned rookies into polished world stage performers and players into heroes. The first game kicked off on Friday 20 September in Tokyo between the host nation Japan and Russia and now we are about to see the curtain finally fall for the last time in 2019.

I have some wonderful memories of this RWC 2019 as I have had in the 2015 RWC but there was something distinctly unique about this tournament. I spent most of my time with a group of people who challenged and inspired me. And in spending a lot of time with them, it humbled me and taught me to always be grateful for the little things. The group of people were the Flying Fijian players, management, coaching staff and close friends and family members of these players.

They reminded me that hard work goes a long way, that to wear the white jersey was something special and that it brought huge responsibilities; responsibilities of servant hood. To serve your God, your family, vanua (country) and its people. That even when you fail, you must learn to get up and keep on going. Because it is not in the failure that determines the character of a person, it is in what you do after you fail that matters.  The questions are do you just mope and have a pity party for one or do you get up and keep on trying? I would highly recommend the latter.

Ben and I jersey presentaiton

There was something special about being present at the jersey presentations the night before the game and post-game gatherings. Apart from making new friends who will now be lifetime friends, there was a real sense of love for family, of humility, of gratitude and of oneness. You had to be there to experience this!

Together we shared the disappointments and I observed how the players rallied around each other during these times. And when they were victorious, together we celebrated the win.

The RWC 2019 was not the fairy tale ending for the Flying Fijians but I believe it was definitely the beginning of pages being written to get to that ending. 

Despite the losses, I left Japan inspired, motivated and encouraged with a seed of belief that we have indeed edged closer to fulfilling the impossible. Time will tell.

Leaving Japan was tough. I couldn’t help but see the disappointment in my son’s eyes after the last game. I felt his sadness as I embraced him to say goodbye on my return to Sydney. And after telling him how much I loved him and was so proud of him, I boarded the bus on my way to catch the flight from Oita to Tokyo enroute to Sydney.

Ben and Milan 

With tears streaming down my face I kept having my quiet conversations with God on that bus and on the planes on my way home; praying that he would continue to keep Ben safe given he lives on the other side of the world. As a mum I miss not having my children at home, but I also understand that it is the choices of their careers that have them living away from me. I never thought that we would all be living in 3 different cities ie. Sydney, Brisbane and Paris but regardless I am grateful that they are both now living their dreams. 

As a parent you hope and pray that everything that you have taught them whilst raising them, they will put to practice as they continue living their own lives.

As mentioned in my earlier blogs, I have been on this journey as a rugby mum for at least 19 years. Whilst the journey has been tough, the results have been rewarding and the biggest lesson for me is to not just be parent by title but to be a present parent. The success of a child is often determined by the love and support that we can give them.

As a solo parent though, my blessing has been and continues to be the people who have impacted my life and the lives of my children. I am grateful that we have never forgotten our roots because it is remembering where we have come from that keeps us humble regardless of the people that we meet.

Over the years, my sons and I have been extremely blessed because of the support from our family. But there are also people who are my friends who I consider family. They have and continue to do life with us.  They have inspired and supported me from the beginning till today. And then there are individuals who I’ve only recently met but feel like I’ve known them my whole life.

There is a family that have been on this journey with me since Ben’s early days of rugby. Collectively I call them the SOP’s ie. Slatters of Penshurst. Together they have helped me cook the dietary meals that Ben had to follow to put on weight, had us over countless times for meals, helped get Ben’s rugby gear dry during times when all we had were weeks of rain and because I didn’t have a dryer at the time. They have been my confidants and dearest friends whenever I needed to talk. Despite their own challenges, they have always been there for me and for that I will always be grateful. So, thank you Thomas, Judy and Christian Slatter.

Over the years I have been blessed to have landed some great work roles with great bosses who have been so supportive of my life as a mother raising two young boys, then eventually to raising a junior state rugby rep, who later became a Super Rugby player, a Top 14 French Rugby player and an international player. To all of you, I thank you.

Then every once in a while if you’re lucky, you land a job that blesses you to no end. A role that I can only describe as a blessing not only because of what the job entails, but because of the people you work with who become family. And to add to this you end up working directly with a man who inspires you everyday because of his character and heart. It’s been said that “we are not just products of our past, people in our present also influence us and help mould our character.” His love for family, sense of self-belief, never give up attitude, positive mindset and a heart of gold is what inspires me. Like his family members who look out for him, he looks out for me which encourages me to always put my best foot forward in all that I do for him, the family and the company. In fact, I am more the richer for his belief in me and my boys and for that Daniel Tartak, I thank you.  

To Cathy, Simon and our family in Melbourne, thank you for sharing your lives with Ben during his time in Melbourne. I will always be grateful to you all for taking him in and treating him like one of your children. Thank you. To my whanau Sharon Shea and Morris Pita and the boys, I will always treasure our friendship and thank you for taking in Ben when he needed a place during his time in Auckland. We love you.

Prayer has always and continues to be an important part of our lives and I am forever grateful to my group of friends and family members who have and continue to stand with me in prayer for my little family.

Prior to the Flying Fijians departure for Japan for the RWC 2019, Ben was struck with a virus that impacted his vision. Unbeknownst to anyone except the coaching staff, Ben’s sight in his left eye became blurry prior to their game against Tonga in Auckland, NZ. As the game continued his vision in his left eye began to deteriorate.

It was his performance in this game that raised a few eyebrows on his ability  to play the number 10 position for the Flying Fijians and it was this game where he got criticised by a certain media outlet in Fiji. Little did they know that although Fiji won, Ben was playing the entire game with one eye.

So to my son Milan, Cathy Kumar, Kiara Kumar and family, Frances Vakayadra, Tahisha and Talei, Dee Uluirewa, Tabua and Elenoa Raiwalui, Esther Lawaniyasana, Paul and Keleni, Aunty Adi Sivia Qoro, Aunty Tute Cooper, Aunty Drua and Uncle Jone Lotu, Aunty Litia Kotobalavu, Lenora Qereqeretabua, my sister Buna Nagera and family, my Revival Life Church family especially Pastor Matthew Waqanivalu, my dad Ratu Peni Volavola and my mother Bulou Vasiti Naqova, thank you for praying and fasting with me. Together we witnessed a miracle.  Thank you also to Tarai Hicks and the staff at the eye department in Lautoka, Fiji for taking good care of him.

Literally two days before their first game against Australia, Ben’s left eye was healed and as God would have it, Ben went on and played one of his best games so much so, the international rugby analysts voted him as the best number 10 during the first week of the RWC 2019. This was nothing short of God’s divine intervention as a result of prayer and the joining of our faith. Thank you Jesus.

To my son Milan, thank you for always being our voice of reason and for being Ben's biggest supporter. I love and appreciate you. 

To my dad, Ratu Peni Volavola, thank you for your prayers and our chats leading up to the RWC, my sister Buna Nagera for always having my back and my mum, who is always relentless in her prayer for my boys and I. Even at my lowest point whilst juggling 2 part time jobs, studying full time and caring for my sons during our first years here in Australia, she would always know what to say or do.  Her support I will always be so grateful for.  Thank you mum. If I can be half the woman you are, I am doing okay.

Photo by Getty Images

So, as I come to the end of my story, there is one special person that I would like to acknowledge and thank for making this all happen. To you Ben,  I would like to thank you for being the amazing young man that you are. From playing bare foot rugby with a plastic bottle during your first few years at primary school in Fiji, to the biggest world stage of Rugby, that being the Rugby World Cup, you have done me, your family, your friends and supporters proud. From your own struggles, you have beaten the odds. 2023 will come around fast and we will be doing this all over again. So, in the meantime, keep your feet firmly on the ground, your heart and eyes on Jesus and keep reaching for the stars! You are indeed my Winged Child!

To all my readers who have followed me on this journey, thank you for your support and interest in my story. God bless and Vinaka (thank you).

Ema Volavola
A Flying Fijian mum
2019

Ben and I