Our First Rugby Tour

Fly My Winged Child

Through the eyes of a Flying Fijian mum

Rugby has given me so many traveling opportunities. In fact, most of my overseas trips have mostly been centered around Ben’s rugby.

As I sat back sipping my tea at 35,000 feet on a flight to Fiji, (I know this because the pilot had just mentioned this over the intercom) I remember smiling to myself reminiscing about our first rugby overseas trip. It is amazing what a rugby world cup year can do to your thought processes when you realise that your child will be playing on a rugby world cup stage where millions of people will be watching.  It is perhaps the pinnacle in the career of any professional rugby player.

The year was 2003 and coincidentally it was also a rugby world cup year just as it is this year. Australia was playing host.

Whilst rugby fans all over the world were flying into Sydney, my younger son  and I were flying out to New Zealand with the Under 12 Manly Marlins Rep team that Ben was a part of. It was to be our first of many overseas rugby trips, not that we knew that at the time.

2003 Manly Marlins U12 Reps.
Notable names 1. Ben Volavola 2. Michael Hooper 3. Jordan Reid

The U12 Manly Rep New Zealand tour was one that had been running for the past 40 years. A tradition that players like the legendary George Smith (former Wallaby number 7) was a part of. In Ben’s team, he had the likes of Tom Kingston (former Super XV NSW Waratahs, Melbourne Rebels and Australian 7’s player), Jordan Reid (Super XV Melbourne Rebels number 7) and current  Super XV Waratah and Wallaby Captain Michael Hooper (Wallaby number 7). When we first saw Michael Hooper play, both Ben and I predicted that he would become a Wallaby. We were right!

We started our tour in Auckland and worked our way South and finished up in Wellington. Of the four games that were played, we won three. Ben didn't play at number 10 or as fly half at the time but instead alternated playing wing (11 and 14) and outside centre (13).

With a squad of approximately 30 players and 20 supporters who were made up of mums, dads, siblings and grandparents, this was by far the best group tour I had ever been on - and I have been on a few since then.

Pre-Tour

The build up to this tour was a little daunting for me.  Ben played for a club called Seaforth Raiders, in the Northern side of Sydney where parents owned businesses, were consultants and experts in their own field, owned big, beautiful homes and drove nice cars.  

In comparison, I was a fulltime international student and worked two jobs to make ends meet. During the week, after University, I would head to Sydney’s Central Business District for work at the St. George Bank where I worked as a part-time teller. On Sundays I would drive out west to Parramatta where I worked as the VIP lounge hostess at Parramatta’s Trivett Classic, a car dealership.

It was tough juggling work, studying and getting both my boys to their respective sports and social activities. But I knew it had to be done and I just had to get on with it. Sometimes when we focus on how difficult things are, we can in fact talk our way out of actually doing something.  And it is so easy to fall into that kind of thinking. From my own experience, I believe that what drove me to be the mother and parent my boys needed was the realisation that life was no longer just about me but moreso about the children. It is amazing when you choose to move the focus off yourself and on to your children, that you will do whatever it takes to help make their dreams come true.

Getting Ben, his younger brother and I on that plane was my priority and I knew sacrifices would have to be made.

As much as we lived in Australia, life was challenging in that when you're the sole income earner and a student you've got to stick to a strict budget. And as much as I did, I was so determined to make it work for my boys and I.

We eventually managed to pay for the tour but this was made possible through the fundraising that we did as a family, the financial support from an amazing woman who's name is Vasiti Mea Naqova and who happens to be my mum, including my decision to skip a few university tutorial classes to take on more shifts at the bank.

But the sacrifices didn't end there. At my youngest son's 21st dinner at home a few years ago, he reminded me during his speech in front of family and friends,  that he and Ben were so grateful for the sacrifices I had made. He was well aware of how I would pretend at dinner time that I had already eaten when in fact I had not.  He was right! I limited my grocery shopping to buying just enough food for my boys so I could put money aside for this tour and for other things that I knew my sons would need.  The sacrifice meant I would go without eating and settle for a cup of tea instead; and as parents you do what you've got to do for your children to ensure that they have the life you want for them. I had underestimated this child.  He was only 8 at the time and yet so acutely aware that whilst my focus was to raise enough funds for Ben's upcoming tour, I was willing to do what I had to do to give my children the best life I could do in my capacity as their mother. Well.....the sacrifice paid off.  I was able to pay our contribution for the tour and it brought me nothing but joy to see Ben so excited when he realised he was going on his first overseas rugby tour at the age of 12. His younger brother was just as excited because he was also looking forward to this tour.

Members of the Manly U12 team on the plane to NZ

It has been 16 years since that first tour. Not only was this such a great experience for Ben but I also learnt a few things too. I could see how much Ben loved playing rugby and was so passionate about it.  I also suspected that this was perhaps something that he would like to do as a career and I was right. My job now was to simply support him.

I have always hoped to be the mother that supports and encourages her children's dreams and supporting Ben became a way of life for his brother and I. Fortunately for me, Ben was blessed with a younger brother who was more than happy to see him fulfill his goals and reach his dreams.  He was happy to stay in the background and help Ben when he needed it.
These two brothers had such a bond that the younger Volavola soon became Ben’s confidant, critic and greatest supporter.  He still is.

There is nothing more that warms my heart than to see the love that exists between my two boys. Their relationship reminds me of a powerful quote that I once read in that “A brother is a gift to the heart, a friend to the spirit.” I feel extremely blessed.

He is Ben’s younger brother and my youngest child. In my next blog, let’s meet the younger Volavola.

NEXT: The younger Volavola