MOMENTS.......

Fly My Winged Child

Through the eyes of a Flying Fijian mum

Moments, they are always happening around us and sometimes we don't even notice them. They can be small or grand in scale but what makes a moment a moment is the sheer impact it has on us. 

Moments can be fleeting and memorable but whatever it is, a moment is an experience.

A moment could be as simple as watching a child take his first steps, a husband changing diapers for the first time or a wife telling her husband she is pregnant for the first time or the 7^th.

Whatever it is, there is an element of surprise, a shift of emotion from being subdued to one of elation, panic or shock.  It is an inner experience.

The most common moments that are shared are often to do with the Olympic games. These games are mostly associated with special moments or great moments. And it is around these types of moments that I would like to share with you mine.

U12 Manly Marlins Rep

It is 2003 when Ben makes it in to his first Rugby representative side for the U12 Manly Marlins and is playing in his first State Championships. Ben is 12. He had grown so much as a player and as parents do, I quietly hoped that something good would come out of his rugby because he was the happiest when he was playing it.  The New South Wales Championships was being held at Narrabeen on the Northern side of Sydney. It was during the tournament that I got given a photo of Ben in action. It was embossed into a made-up rugby magazine cover. The title, “Champion of the Future! Ben Volavola.” It took my breath away. I remember thinking, could this be the beginning of something great? That was a moment! 

Living in the South West of Sydney in a suburb called Bexley North, Ben spent most of his time kicking a ball and playing touch rugby with his friends in our backyard. He attended Primary School at Bexley North Public which was several doors down from where we lived and eventually moved on to start his first secondary school year at St. George Christian.

While at St. George Christian school, Ben played for the Oatley Rugby Junior Club up until he was 16. We had many great moments. A-number-of boys in a grade higher than Ben’s team had made the Australian School Boys and Ben and his team were a team not to be underestimated. In their age group, they were not big in size but big in heart. They finally won a grand final in 2007.

It was during his days at Oatley rugby that Ben was offered a part-time scholarship at the Endeavour Sports College in Carringbah, Sydney. The high school was a specialized school for upcoming sporting talent and so this opportunity was something we could not pass up. Another moment!

Every weekend we seemed to have something on. Rugby was our life! If we were not at church, we would be around a rugby oval somewhere in Sydney or in New South Wales. This was something we had become so use to doing.

The year was 2007.  I remember as if it were yesterday. Ben who was now part of the Southern Districts U16 team (made up of boys selected from clubs all over the South and Western parts of Sydney) were competing in the State Championships. It was to be  across this two day tournament that the selectors would choose representatives for the U16 Sydney team.

Ben was so excited to get going that morning. I went through my check list first. Driving map instructions? Check. Lunches? Check. Water? Check. Mat? Check. Boots? Check. Mouthguard? Check. Milan? Check. Ben? Check. My brain? Check!

The trip to the oval was one of serious chatter. Milan would tell Ben, don’t forget about that kid who is a kicker and that kid can run and this kid can tackle. That was the sort of conversation that would go on in our car on our way to the oval. All I did was be madam Chauffer not ‘madam secretary’ although these days I feel like it.

The grounds were full of parents and children all vying to take out the state championship title.

As the games progressed, Ben and his Southern Districts team didn’t quite get the results that they were after during the first game of their tournament. Naturally he was so disappointed.

At the end of day one on our way back home, the mood in the car had changed. No one was talking. Ben kept looking out the window and I could see his mind ticking over.

I can’t begin to tell you how many times my heart has literally broken to see the disappointment on his young face when things haven’t gone quite the way he had hoped. And all he had been hoping for was to make the team.

That night at home post day one of the championships, I remember Ben coming to me in the kitchen and finally blurting out his disappointment. In tears he stood there saying, “We played terribly mum and I don’t think I’ll make it. I have worked so hard for this.” I hugged him so hard and reassured him that it wasn’t over until tomorrow. But he kept saying “but they only pick players from the winning team.” Finally, I looked him in the eyes and said “you have one more day to prove yourself. Don’t let today determine your tomorrow.”

We were up early again the next day and back to the oval we went.

This time, it was mummy/coach/chauffeur/Commander Volavola that did all the talking.

I reminded Ben and his friend who stayed over that this was their last chance for selection and that they leave everything on the field. They did!

I hadn’t seen Ben play like that since he started playing rugby. He was tackling hard, running like the wind, kicking like a seasoned player and zipping through players like his good ole mate Evi (Waisale Serevi, World Legendary Fiji 7’s player). It was fantastic!

Following the games, players and parents were summoned to a tent where selectors of the U16 Sydney team were standing. I could feel my heart pounding out of my chest. Ben looked at me and I gave him a reassuring nod.

The head of the selectors thanked the players and the parents for their efforts that weekend and mentioned he would announce the names who made the team by order of surname first. Oh c’mon! is what I thought! Our surname starts with a V so the suspense was killing me. We were right down the list.

Finally, it came to the T’s the U’s and then the V’s. And it happened, Volavola, Ben came ringing into my ears like a lullaby. I looked at Ben who had his head down and with tears in my eyes, I looked up to give thanks! Ben had made the team and was going to now play in the National Championships in Brisbane. That was a moment!

So, we’ve done the National Championships in Brisbane and we are back in Sydney. A year has gone by since the championships. Both my boys are at school and I am at work. Life is humming away at a normal pace then things start to get interesting.

Southern Districts 1st Grade

Ben is now 17. He is now playing colts for the Southern Districts Club. Then out of the blue, I received a phone call from Ben’s U16 Sydney Coach Belly (who I have mentioned in my earlier blog). He calls to say that the Head of Rugby at Newington College Mr Andrew Hill had called him asking if he could recommend someone who he knew played number 10 and was academically an above average student at school. Ben’s name was brought up and the call was to see if we were interested in meeting Mr Hill. I couldn’t believe my ears.

It was only a year ago that I had taken Ben to sit an entry exam in the hope of trying to get him into this school. Newington Boys College came highly recommended by friends of our who have had 3 of their sons at the school. Their curriculum was great and so too was their Rugby history. Interestingly enough, the late President Ratu Sir Penaia Ganilau was a former student.

I rushed home that day eager to see Ben. Milan was home and I told him about the news and he was ecstatic for his brother.

Ben got home and we broke the news to him. He was so happy because we had tried to do this last year but nothing eventuated out of it. This time, the opportunity to attend Newington Boys was brought to us. It literally fell in my lap.

A couple of days later we met Mr Hill and the Headmaster and Senior teachers. Ben was officially offered the scholarship for years 11 and 12. Not only was his tuition fees paid for, but so were his uniforms and costs for the upcoming NZ tour if he made the squad. What a moment that was!

Ben in flight for Newington Boys College

The hard work was starting to pay off. No sooner had Ben joined Newington College, he was selected in the 1^st XV team to travel New Zealand. It was 2009. The two years at Newington flew by so fast and without a doubt left such an indelible mark on Ben. Precious memories that will forever last a lifetime.

It was only natural that every rugby child growing up around the ovals in Australia dreamed to be a Wallaby one day. That was Ben. He was self-disciplined and focused. He would be the first one on the field and the last one off. Whilst everyone was heading home, he would be doing his extra drills which included practicing his place kicking and goal kicking. He was committed.

Ben enjoyed his time with Southern Districts, he had made some very good friends which he still keeps in contact with today. But there was a moment that many still talk about today. It was a Southern Districts game against Sydney Uni for a spot in the NSW 2014 Shute shield finals. Without saying too much, I will let you enjoy the following clip.

During his time with Southern Districts, Michael Cheika (former Waratahs coach and now the Australian Wallaby Coach) invited Ben to try out with the Waratahs for the remaining spot in the squad. There were 3 boys that he had invited to compete for this last spot. The trial ran for a couple of weeks.

At the end of the second week, Cheika had made his decision. On my way home from work,  I received a text message from Ben. His text read “Hi ma, your son is now a Waratah!” I squealed on the train much to the surprise of the passengers sitting in the same carriage. I just had another moment!

A few more months later, Ben was asked to trial for the Australian U20’s team who were to travel to Italy for the Junior World Rugby Cup in 2011. Hours of training and trial games took up most of his time. There were camps being run out of the Sydney area and eventually a camp that was held away from parents where the announcement of the team was to be made.

Ben with the Aussie U20 team

Ben is naturally a very quiet young man but becomes a completely different person on the field on game day. Following the camp, he headed home, and we were not aware of the results of the announcement. He was quiet and subdued, and I didn’t want to ask simply because I was worried it would upset him if he hadn’t made the team. Eventually he blurted it out! He had made the U20’s Australian Squad and had been selected to play as fly half. What a moment! And that was a moment because he now wears his Flying Fijian jersey loud and proud!

There were many other moments that followed that will forever stay with me, but I have left these for another section of my blog.

Ben’s moments were my moments. They were moments that shifted the course of his life. Great moments that have helped establish him as a professional rugby player. But most importantly moments that he has been able to share not just with me but with the world.

Whether your moment is big or small, grand or tiny, impressive or unimpressive, take a moment and celebrate it. Shout if you can, dance if you must; whatever it is you can do, do because moments are just that, a moment!

Next Chapter: The life of a Super Rugby Player