The Challenges

Fly My Winged Child

Through the eyes of a Flying Fijian mum

Flying Fijian RWC 2015

It is difficult to try and explain or describe the disappointment and sadness you feel when your child is going through his or her challenges. And in whatever form they come, it can test you to the core. When their hearts break so does yours but you've always got to appear like you've got it together. Not sure if that's you, but it's definitely me.

Ben has had his fair share of challenges and disappointments during his junior rugby days, through his years as a Super XV player and as a Flying Fijian, and it has taken a lot of resilience, trusting in God and self-belief to overcome these.

To commemorate the win
Team manager gets a prize too

Ben’s first challenge during his rugby career was when he was 16 years of age playing for Oatley Junior Rugby club. We had moved clubs in 2004 from Seaforth Raiders. The team was 10 days away from playing in the U16 Premier finals when disaster struck! Ben had injured his ankle and tore ligaments in his foot during a training session. It was to be his second injury and I was devastated for him. His first injury was sustaining a hair line fracture in one of his fingers during the U12 tour in NZ.

As a parent you try and do as much as you can to protect your child from all harm, but the reality is you can’t. And if your child plays a contact spot you will have to grin and bare it. That's me! I realise I've done this several times but the closest I've got to protecting my child while he is playing rugby is me screaming at the top of my lungs along the sidelines saying "get off him!" I'm certain I'm not alone. 

There were a lot of tears and hugs and questions that were asked following his injury. I didn’t have all the answers and I believe you don’t have to. But what I do remember was that I had to have the patience and understanding to support him through this.

The day of the finals came and with Ben on crutches, we watched our U16 Oatley Rugby boys defeat their giants; Petersham. Although he didn’t play, this victory was just as much Ben’s as it was his team.

Eventually Ben made a full recovery and was back on the oval. It was during his time as a junior at the Oatley Rugby Club that he also made his debut with the Southern Districts Junior Reps side. He was 16 years of age.

1st XV Newington College

Under the guidance and direction of Coach Michael Bell famously known as Belly (who at the time worked for the NSW Waratahs), Ben began to soar.

His performance on the field paved a way to a spot at Endeavour Sports College. And later that same year, he made the U16 Sydney rep squad to play in the Australian U16 Nationals Rugby Competition. At the end of 2008 Ben was then offered a scholarship at the private school of Newington College under the stewardship of Rugby Head Andrew Hill. This is where Ben completed his years 11 and 12.

Both Belly and Andrew played pivotal roles in setting Ben up on the right course. And it was during a game at Knox College in Sydney that he was spotted by Andrew Fairbain a player agent who is still Ben’s manager. These gentlemen saw something in Ben and took a punt on him. It has paid off.

Ben started being featured in the NSW Shute Shield magazine and for some reason it cemented what I always knew. I had a star on my hands.

It was while he was in year 12 that he made his debut for West Harbour Rugby Club in the New South Wales Shute Shield competition. Ben started to turn the heads of various coaches of other teams and the one that mattered, Michael Cheika the Head Coach of the Wallabies who at the time Head Coach of the Waratahs. It was coach Cheika that invited Ben for trials with the Waratahs.

Ben attended these trials but it was the trial games leading up to this invitation when he would overhear other players or team trainers say, “he’s too tall for a number 10 or he’s too slow.” At one stage they wanted to teach him how to kick!

Waratah #1595

There were also comments by people that said he wouldn’t make it as a Super Rugby XV player. He also had to endure a racist remark during one of his games. These were some of the mental challenges he was dealing with. 

But these comments did not deter him from pursuing his dream.  If anything, it was these comments that would fuel him to prove everyone

wrong and he did!

Crusaders

He eventually made his debut with the Waratahs in 2013 then went on to play for the Crusaders, Melbourne Rebels, a stint with the Mitre 10 quarter final team in 2016, North Harbour in Auckland and eventually to France where he currently lives.

Ben has had to sit out a number of games for months at various times because of surgery but he has never given up and because of that he is where he is today.

No one is immune to life’s challenges least of all these elite sporting professionals. The key is that they are aware that they have the support regardless.

Over the years I have seen that with all the support Ben has had from his brother, grandparents, grandaunts, aunties and uncles, cousins, friends and I, this has helped him conquer his challenges and enabled him to do what he loves to do and that is to play his best rugby.

Add caption

If there is one thing that I have constantly reminded Ben about that I would like to share with you it is this. Remember the giver of your gift not your gift, know that you are a conqueror and an overcomer not a pushover, stay humble regardless of your elevation and know that nothing is impossible!

If you are a parent reading this or an adult or child aspiring for something great, whoever you are, remember, “you are fearfully and wonderfully made and that you have purpose!

So, don't let anyone define you because the instant you do, you are giving them power and control over you.

Next Chapter: Moments